Granny's Almost Garden

Granny's Almost Garden

By Marge Holley

Tip! Wild Corner - I know this may be hard if you like a neat and tidy garden, but leaving a wild patch can be very entertaining and visually very pleasing. Nettles and other wildflowers attract butterflies and bees, and it's often suprising how delicate and colourful wildflowers can be when allowed to grow in their own space.

I almost had a garden this year. Then the earwigs took over my lettuce. The grasshoppers confiscated all my zucchini and various other flying insects shared the sunflowers. The gophers leveled one row in an afternoon. They enjoyed a healthy salad. I did get one meal of peas and one helping of green beans. The produce that I ate cost me about six dollars a pound but the relaxation of working in my garden with grasshoppers slamming into my head is priceless.

The grandchild got a puppy last week. A cute, little untrained puppy. Now I have to be careful where I step walking through the house. It was bad enough when I had to get a pooper scooper for my lawn. But for the living room? Training Fido has become a family project. Cleaning up Fido's accidents seems to be my field of expertise. Conveniently no one notices or seems to be around at these critical times. Last year I inherited the job of cleaning the parakeet cage. Next I fed the bird and changed his water. He won't even sit on my finger. Ungrateful bird! I suspect Fido is leaning toward this sort of behavior. He barks at me every time I come home but if I'm in the kitchen cooking, his attitude is completely different. What's wrong with goldfish? They make such nice pets. They stay put; swim around in circles and have short life spans. By the time the newness wears off, they die.

Tip! Cut down on Big Toys - Children's outdoor toys, such as swings, slides etc; can take up loads of room in the garden, and they're not always very attractive. Look for something a little less permanent.

Personally I've always wanted a miniature horse. They will mow and fertilize the yard and are a nice size. They don't need a big barn and they are cute. If you change your mind, they have resale value. (signed practical Granny)

Granny Marge has just published her second humor book, Granny's Journal. She is a library director in a small town in the Northwest and turned 62 this year. She forgets a lot so if she repeats herself, please forgive her.